What if Mayawati becomes PM???!!!

The fate of politicians is sealed in the EVMs. This election has created a lot of hype. Rs. 11000 crore of the bookies is at stake. Few days/weeks ago there was a discussion going on in CNN-IBN which compared Obama and BMW aka Behen MayaWati. What if BMW becomes PM one day? Is it possible? Does she have that appeal?

Here are the excerpts from the interview given by BSP's anonynous spokesperson. (This is hypothetical. There was no interview as such).

Journo: What are the chances of BSP in this election?

Spokesperson: BSP will yammerge as single largest party.


Journo: (WTF)How?

Spokesperson: You see, we have fielded candidates in almost all the constituencies except the ones where our allies are contesting. Number of candidates standing on BSP ticket is more than that of BJP and INC.

Journo: How will that help?

Spokesperson: In most of the constituencies its a triangular contest. If we consider independents then it is n-angular contest. The votes will be split. We have made provisions so that the vote share of independents will be transferred to BSP candidate. Due to low voter turnout we will benefit.

Journo: Isn't it unconstitutional?

Spokesperson: (Swalpa muchkond irthira).

Journo: Will BMW be PM?

Spokesperson: Ofcourse. BSP with the help of secular allies and Left parties i.e the Third Front will form Social Secular Republic Govt. headed by Behenji.

Journo: Sir what is the first priority if you form the govt?

Spokesperson: Our first priority is to collect chanda from people so that Behenji celebrates the formation of govt with a 543 Kg cake.

Journo(thinking): 543??? Oh... understood.

Journo: Sir how will you provide jobs for people in rural areas?

Spokesperson: We will train them to be sculptors.

Journo: Why?

Spokesperson: You see, our second priority is to install life-size statues of Behenji in nook and corner of this country. And we are also installing Elephant statues which is our party symbol and that costs 2 crores each. We need sculptors for that.

Journo: Aren't you wasting people's money?

Spokesperson: This is not people's money. This is money donated by people.

Journo(thinking): Donation or Extortion? Mayawati or Chandawati?

Journo: Sir what constitutional amendments will be done by your govt if voted to power?

Spokesperson: We are thinking of introducing Coalition Govt. Act. The coalition govt once formed will complete its tenure even if the govt is minority and even if some allies withdraw support thus ensuring full term for Behenji.
And to take care of such things, we are planning to introduce new portfolio called Ministry of Coalition Affairs. This law ceases to exist if Behenji is vetoed by the people.

Journo: What will you do to control economic recession? How will you inject liquidity into market?

Spokesperson: Simple, We encourage people not to goto recess room during working hours. We are planning to use a 5 inch needle to inject liquidity. If that is not feasible we will do cloud-seeding so that it rains near market and liquidity is restored. If this also fails we will give ORS to market.

Journo(thinking): If I stay here, I will faint and die. Better to escape from here.

Journo: Thank you for your valuable time sir. We wish you all the best.

Spokesperson: All the best, all the best. Sorry sorry you are welcome.

Journo: Phew!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: The above characters are fictitious. Any resemblance, if at all, is purely coincidental. This post is not meant to hurt anyone or anyone's sentiment. I hope that I won't be sued for this.